DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize