WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
