I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
