I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize