How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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