My nipple is on Facebook.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
