I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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