So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
