if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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