People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You are a genius and a whore.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize