Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
