why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
