Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
