Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Randomize
