At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
