i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
