My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
