It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize