you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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