No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize