I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
