You smell like stripper and shame
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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