I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize