Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
