Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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