After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
