I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize