it was like his penis was on wheels.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
