...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Pooping to opera.
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