I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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