There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
