He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize