it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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