I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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