Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
