Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
