And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
