There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
