yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
