I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
