i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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