You're completely useless in the revolution.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize