My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
