I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
