So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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