i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My ass is underappreciated
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
