I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
