I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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