seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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