ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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