ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
