This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
