Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
