look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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