hotel room ftw
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
